My friend D

D, aka Dwayne, is one of the two guys I call my rocks, my soulmates. I met him online when I joined his message board in 2004 but we didn't become friends until 6 years ago earlier this month. It all started with his message that his marriage was breaking up. I sent him a personal message, offering my shoulders if he needed to talk. It took him awhile to actually take me up on it but that was the beginning.

In the 6 years I've known him, we've gone through a lot together. From crying jags to trips to Atlanta, to sharing living space, to what we have today, it's been a wild journey. I don't like thinking it's over but sometimes you need to take a few steps away in order to see if what you have is worth continuing to fight to save. And that's where I'm at with him.

Look, no one said friendship is easy. Ours isn't, by any stretch of the imagination. He's put up with me, my lies, my strangeness. I've dealt with him, his fears, his inability at times to stand up for himself. But for a friend, you do what you need to do. The biggest problem always comes when one person in the friendship feels like they're doing all the work to keep the friendship and the other one is just ... there. It's never easy to feel that way and that's when you have to step back and re-evaluate or you have to just let go. I don't want to just let go so I'm stepping back and looking over what we have.

Here's the bottom line on D and my friendship: I love him and I always will. I will always, as long as I'm alive, be there if he needs me. All he has to do is reach out to me.