Here we are, supposedly one of the richest nations in the world. We give to help out people in impoverished nations all the time, helping with AIDS programs, immunization programs, etc. But when you look around at our own country, we find people in nearly every community who can't afford to see a doctor once a year for a basic physical, can't afford to go to the dentist for basic dental care, can't afford to get the basic tests like mammograms. Why? Because basic health care costs too much without insurance and insurance costs too much, period. So we have people who are literally dropping dead from a tooth infection.
Now, Congress passed the health care reform act and since then, all we've heard is how it can't possibly work, it's too expensive to be fully enacted, it's going to make businesses lay off people, it's illegal, etc. etc. etc. I agree, it's not perfect. But then again, the system we have right now isn't perfect, either. The biggest complaint I've heard from Republicans is that it's illegal, we can't force people to buy health care. I don't know, we're forcing people to take off shoes every time they fly, in order to supposedly keep them safe. So why can't we do the same thing with health care? Share the costs fully and prices go down. Set up a national system and it's even better because then you know your insurance will be accepted in every state, no matter what.
The biggest problem I see is that insurance providers won't see huge profits if this remains in effect. They won't be able to charge what they want anymore. How wrong is that if it means that more Americans can actually get treatment? So you don't become a millionaire this year. Money isn't the main thing in life, is it?
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Politicians
I am a nobody, someone who goes through my life just trying to get by. I stretch my money as far as I can and I don't buy anything without considering the cost for at least a week. Even the food I buy is bought with the idea of how long it can last.
That said, I am so sick of our politicians doing all they can to forget about the people and doing all they can for the corporations. When I hear a Congressman saying he has a hard time living on his salary, which is more than 3 times the average salary of his constituents, the only thought in my head is, enough is enough.
Stop playing games with our economy just so you can one up the other side. The people you're hurting isn't you and your family, it's those of us who were idiotic enough to vote for you. You may not love this country but I do and I'm sick of your politics getting in the way of getting our country back on track. The President may be in charge and he may be the one who gets the most visibility with his plans but you're the ones who keep holding them up, just so you can stick it to the President. It's time to stop.
Everyone knows you can't fix a broken budget by merely cutting things out of it. You need to increase your income. So why do you fight it so much? I'm not going to be cut down anymore just so that you can win your game. I count, just as much as any politician does. When you vote, remember those of us who voted you in, not just those corporations who bought your campaign. It's we the people, not we the businesses.
My bottom line: I'm not going to sit back any longer and watch Congress play games with my life. I will do whatever I have to do, by legal means, to change this process. If you can't do it, WE THE PEOPLE will!!!
That said, I am so sick of our politicians doing all they can to forget about the people and doing all they can for the corporations. When I hear a Congressman saying he has a hard time living on his salary, which is more than 3 times the average salary of his constituents, the only thought in my head is, enough is enough.
Stop playing games with our economy just so you can one up the other side. The people you're hurting isn't you and your family, it's those of us who were idiotic enough to vote for you. You may not love this country but I do and I'm sick of your politics getting in the way of getting our country back on track. The President may be in charge and he may be the one who gets the most visibility with his plans but you're the ones who keep holding them up, just so you can stick it to the President. It's time to stop.
Everyone knows you can't fix a broken budget by merely cutting things out of it. You need to increase your income. So why do you fight it so much? I'm not going to be cut down anymore just so that you can win your game. I count, just as much as any politician does. When you vote, remember those of us who voted you in, not just those corporations who bought your campaign. It's we the people, not we the businesses.
My bottom line: I'm not going to sit back any longer and watch Congress play games with my life. I will do whatever I have to do, by legal means, to change this process. If you can't do it, WE THE PEOPLE will!!!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Religion
Tell me what it is about religion that makes it such an overwhelming Master. In every religion, there are fanatics, those who are so enraptured by the words in that religion's holy book that they will stop at nothing, including murder, to make everyone see that their religion is the best.
If we look at the holy books for most major religions, they are all rather alike. They all recount the adventures of their big holy man. But here's where they're really alike. Not a one of them was written by anyone who actually witnessed those adventures. They were written many many years after the fact, by people who wrote down what they'd heard for years. So let's think for a minute, please. You know what it's like to have a family story. It gets told by so many people, over and over and over again, until it's nothing like the original story. It's been reinterpreted by each and every storyteller. But you write down the version you've heard and you call it "the true story." Is it, really?
If we could be honest with ourselves, we might look at this objectively and realize a few things. These stories were told to do a specific task. They were told to keep kids in line, to organize a tribe of people, to set down parameters for that specific group. They weren't meant to be the rules for everyone but for that one particular group. The older stories were made to be more frightening, so that everyone understood why the rules were the way they were. Then we move into the newer stories, where love becomes the overwhelming message. But the followers, who were brought up on the older stories, can't help but add their own admonitions for the next bunch of followers. And because they were brought up on the old, vengeful-type stories, guess what their writing is going to have predominantly? Yep, all sorts of rules to follow, all based on the stories they grew up on.
See, here's what I don't understand. If God is a god of love, then why was he so vengeful in the old testament? And why does he let his son be so lenient? If God is a god of love, then why does he let anyone die from things like disease, murder, or hate? It just makes no sense, no matter how you look at it.
That's the main reason I consider myself to be spiritual, rather than religious. Believe in a higher power but don't use that higher power to rule your life. Because all the rules weren't given by it but by the people who wrote them. Regardless of if they were inspired by that higher power, they still were the ones who passed the rules down and eventually wrote them down.
If we look at the holy books for most major religions, they are all rather alike. They all recount the adventures of their big holy man. But here's where they're really alike. Not a one of them was written by anyone who actually witnessed those adventures. They were written many many years after the fact, by people who wrote down what they'd heard for years. So let's think for a minute, please. You know what it's like to have a family story. It gets told by so many people, over and over and over again, until it's nothing like the original story. It's been reinterpreted by each and every storyteller. But you write down the version you've heard and you call it "the true story." Is it, really?
If we could be honest with ourselves, we might look at this objectively and realize a few things. These stories were told to do a specific task. They were told to keep kids in line, to organize a tribe of people, to set down parameters for that specific group. They weren't meant to be the rules for everyone but for that one particular group. The older stories were made to be more frightening, so that everyone understood why the rules were the way they were. Then we move into the newer stories, where love becomes the overwhelming message. But the followers, who were brought up on the older stories, can't help but add their own admonitions for the next bunch of followers. And because they were brought up on the old, vengeful-type stories, guess what their writing is going to have predominantly? Yep, all sorts of rules to follow, all based on the stories they grew up on.
See, here's what I don't understand. If God is a god of love, then why was he so vengeful in the old testament? And why does he let his son be so lenient? If God is a god of love, then why does he let anyone die from things like disease, murder, or hate? It just makes no sense, no matter how you look at it.
That's the main reason I consider myself to be spiritual, rather than religious. Believe in a higher power but don't use that higher power to rule your life. Because all the rules weren't given by it but by the people who wrote them. Regardless of if they were inspired by that higher power, they still were the ones who passed the rules down and eventually wrote them down.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
How do you see our friendship? Is it one where you can be yourself and talk about anything that comes into your head, or is it one where you talk to me once in a while by answering questions I ask but never ever saying what's really in your head? Or is it one where you'd prefer I didn't really exist but you're glad that someone else is making sure your bills are paid? I just don't know which one is reality anymore. Sometimes, I get the feeling that I'm a safety valve, someone that you can call when you need to blow but then you change your mind and keep it all bottled up inside. You don't really want me there but you don't really want me gone, either. So you keep me on the fringes, never really telling me anything but still talking to me from time to time.
Well, just to let you know, I can't stay like this anymore. We obviously have two different ideas of what friendship is. You know where to find me when you decide what you want in a friendship. Good luck in your life. Let me know when you decide to actually live it, rather than how everyone else wants you to live it.
Well, just to let you know, I can't stay like this anymore. We obviously have two different ideas of what friendship is. You know where to find me when you decide what you want in a friendship. Good luck in your life. Let me know when you decide to actually live it, rather than how everyone else wants you to live it.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
My friend D
D, aka Dwayne, is one of the two guys I call my rocks, my soulmates. I met him online when I joined his message board in 2004 but we didn't become friends until 6 years ago earlier this month. It all started with his message that his marriage was breaking up. I sent him a personal message, offering my shoulders if he needed to talk. It took him awhile to actually take me up on it but that was the beginning.
In the 6 years I've known him, we've gone through a lot together. From crying jags to trips to Atlanta, to sharing living space, to what we have today, it's been a wild journey. I don't like thinking it's over but sometimes you need to take a few steps away in order to see if what you have is worth continuing to fight to save. And that's where I'm at with him.
Look, no one said friendship is easy. Ours isn't, by any stretch of the imagination. He's put up with me, my lies, my strangeness. I've dealt with him, his fears, his inability at times to stand up for himself. But for a friend, you do what you need to do. The biggest problem always comes when one person in the friendship feels like they're doing all the work to keep the friendship and the other one is just ... there. It's never easy to feel that way and that's when you have to step back and re-evaluate or you have to just let go. I don't want to just let go so I'm stepping back and looking over what we have.
Here's the bottom line on D and my friendship: I love him and I always will. I will always, as long as I'm alive, be there if he needs me. All he has to do is reach out to me.
In the 6 years I've known him, we've gone through a lot together. From crying jags to trips to Atlanta, to sharing living space, to what we have today, it's been a wild journey. I don't like thinking it's over but sometimes you need to take a few steps away in order to see if what you have is worth continuing to fight to save. And that's where I'm at with him.
Look, no one said friendship is easy. Ours isn't, by any stretch of the imagination. He's put up with me, my lies, my strangeness. I've dealt with him, his fears, his inability at times to stand up for himself. But for a friend, you do what you need to do. The biggest problem always comes when one person in the friendship feels like they're doing all the work to keep the friendship and the other one is just ... there. It's never easy to feel that way and that's when you have to step back and re-evaluate or you have to just let go. I don't want to just let go so I'm stepping back and looking over what we have.
Here's the bottom line on D and my friendship: I love him and I always will. I will always, as long as I'm alive, be there if he needs me. All he has to do is reach out to me.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Another friend of mine
So today I want to talk about another friend of mine from the past. I'm not sure he'd want me to use his real name here so I'm going to call him Claude.
I met him while attending college back in the early 80's. He sat next to me in my Psych 101 class. Both of us were night owls and the class was an 8am class, so more often than not, one of us would be nodding off during it. I think sometimes we used to prop each other up so we could sleep more soundly.
Claude was an interesting guy. He was into a lot of things: music, drama, dance, kung fu, and flying are the ones I remember best. He didn't wear tons of jewelry but what he did wear was tasteful and classy. I remember one ring he wore often, and how badly he felt when he damaged it while he was angry one night. His clothing was stylish but not above his student status. He didn't wear 3-piece suits, although I'm sure he'd have looked fantastic in one. Jeans and a t-shirt, even if his t-shirts were better quality than most.
I remember going out one night and watching him on the dance floor. He had so much motion going on, even when dancing to a slow tune. More energy than most. He was just a joy to watch on the floor, so fluid in movement. That he got me out onto that dance floor is enough for me to praise him forever for doing the impossible. That he made it fun for me and not torture made it even better.
Claude had this ease to him. He made you comfortable just by being near you. He could make you laugh hard enough to cry and he could bring you to tears sometimes with his emotional speeches.
I lost touch with him in the mid 90's and always wondered what had happened to him. Thanks to Facebook, I no longer have to wonder. We are in touch from time to time. He's more guarded now, thanks to life. I haven't talked to him on the phone or in person and I'm not sure I ever will again. But, I do know it sounds like he's doing a job he loves and I know that his magic with people is still there. You can see that by the comments left when he posts anything.
So, to Claude, who knows who he is, I miss the young man I knew and I miss the chance to get to know you for who you are today. But I am glad to have you in my life again, even if it is just on the edge of it. Thanks for answering my email more than a year ago. I've missed you.
I met him while attending college back in the early 80's. He sat next to me in my Psych 101 class. Both of us were night owls and the class was an 8am class, so more often than not, one of us would be nodding off during it. I think sometimes we used to prop each other up so we could sleep more soundly.
Claude was an interesting guy. He was into a lot of things: music, drama, dance, kung fu, and flying are the ones I remember best. He didn't wear tons of jewelry but what he did wear was tasteful and classy. I remember one ring he wore often, and how badly he felt when he damaged it while he was angry one night. His clothing was stylish but not above his student status. He didn't wear 3-piece suits, although I'm sure he'd have looked fantastic in one. Jeans and a t-shirt, even if his t-shirts were better quality than most.
I remember going out one night and watching him on the dance floor. He had so much motion going on, even when dancing to a slow tune. More energy than most. He was just a joy to watch on the floor, so fluid in movement. That he got me out onto that dance floor is enough for me to praise him forever for doing the impossible. That he made it fun for me and not torture made it even better.
Claude had this ease to him. He made you comfortable just by being near you. He could make you laugh hard enough to cry and he could bring you to tears sometimes with his emotional speeches.
I lost touch with him in the mid 90's and always wondered what had happened to him. Thanks to Facebook, I no longer have to wonder. We are in touch from time to time. He's more guarded now, thanks to life. I haven't talked to him on the phone or in person and I'm not sure I ever will again. But, I do know it sounds like he's doing a job he loves and I know that his magic with people is still there. You can see that by the comments left when he posts anything.
So, to Claude, who knows who he is, I miss the young man I knew and I miss the chance to get to know you for who you are today. But I am glad to have you in my life again, even if it is just on the edge of it. Thanks for answering my email more than a year ago. I've missed you.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
A friend named Scott
I have this friend named Scott. Or maybe friend is the wrong word. Whatever he is to me, he has been part of my life now since 1999, in an on and off again friendship. He's from the part of my lifetime when I was very very into BDSM. He came into my life one night when I was on AOL looking at profiles. I liked his screen name and loved his profile so I sent him an IM and started talking with him. We talked for more than an hour that first night. He's a musician, a guitarist, and he's in a few different bands. I fell for his words, the way he strung his thoughts together in his writings.
Later that fall, I got the chance to meet him. He was coming to CA, to bring a guitar or two to a guy in Long Beach that he trusted to fix them. He ended up spending a couple of nights where I lived at that time. The last night he was there, my power had been shut off. We'd gone to pick up his guitars earlier that day and he played some tunes in the candlelight. I had a blast listening to him play. The next day, he left. I managed to take one picture of him, using a Polaroid camera I had. I have no idea where that picture is today, but I remember it vividly.
I did see him again, a few months later. Still a great guy, still magical with his words and guitar. About 3 months after seeing him again, I ended up behind bars for 13 months. Somewhere during that time, the pull his words had on me lessened a bit. After I got out, I tried to see him again but he had things to do and people to be with and scheduling time, even a few hours, was nearly impossible. My interest in BDSM waned, and his words no longer pulled me in. I would see him online every now and then, say hi, let him know what was going on in my life and ask what was going on in his. The distance grew.
Right now, he's in a fight against cancer. A growth near his shoulder that hadn't caused problems before started causing them now. He had it removed April 2010 and it grew back. The biopsy showed cancer. He went for radiation and it wasn't the success they'd hoped for. As of now, there's a tumor in his lung and he's in the hospital because he couldn't breathe. No news for the last few days but that's not always a bad thing.
I'm hoping he stays positive, keeps fear at a far distance, and believes he will be fine. I can't say what will happen to him. I haven't seen him in 11 years. I will continue to send positive energy his way. What I keep thinking of is the song For Good, from the musical Wicked. The very first stanza kinda describes how I think of him now. For those who don't know it, here it is.
Later that fall, I got the chance to meet him. He was coming to CA, to bring a guitar or two to a guy in Long Beach that he trusted to fix them. He ended up spending a couple of nights where I lived at that time. The last night he was there, my power had been shut off. We'd gone to pick up his guitars earlier that day and he played some tunes in the candlelight. I had a blast listening to him play. The next day, he left. I managed to take one picture of him, using a Polaroid camera I had. I have no idea where that picture is today, but I remember it vividly.
I did see him again, a few months later. Still a great guy, still magical with his words and guitar. About 3 months after seeing him again, I ended up behind bars for 13 months. Somewhere during that time, the pull his words had on me lessened a bit. After I got out, I tried to see him again but he had things to do and people to be with and scheduling time, even a few hours, was nearly impossible. My interest in BDSM waned, and his words no longer pulled me in. I would see him online every now and then, say hi, let him know what was going on in my life and ask what was going on in his. The distance grew.
Right now, he's in a fight against cancer. A growth near his shoulder that hadn't caused problems before started causing them now. He had it removed April 2010 and it grew back. The biopsy showed cancer. He went for radiation and it wasn't the success they'd hoped for. As of now, there's a tumor in his lung and he's in the hospital because he couldn't breathe. No news for the last few days but that's not always a bad thing.
I'm hoping he stays positive, keeps fear at a far distance, and believes he will be fine. I can't say what will happen to him. I haven't seen him in 11 years. I will continue to send positive energy his way. What I keep thinking of is the song For Good, from the musical Wicked. The very first stanza kinda describes how I think of him now. For those who don't know it, here it is.
I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help us most of all, if we let them, and we help them in return.I was led to him for a reason. I'm not quite sure what it is but I'm glad he was a part of my life then and I wish him all the best now. Get well, Scott. You are needed.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
What happened to compassion and empathy?
The other night, I was in a car with a friend and we were on our way to the market. Just before we got there, we noticed a guy on the ground in the median. We slowed down, to see if we might be able to help him, and the car behind us honked their horn. No one else stopped. While at the light, getting ready to turn around and help him, we saw him get up and finish crossing the street. He was limping but seemed to be okay, so we turned into the market and watched him walk away.
I couldn't believe how everyone was just zooming past this man, like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't fallen and might've needed help. And the idiot behind us who honked their horn, like maybe if they sat there too long, they might have to see that he'd fallen down. I was angry and frustrated at the same time. All these people who drove past this man, just drove past him like he didn't exist. How can anyone see someone fall and not even stop to see if they're ok?
And yesterday in the news, Jeff Conaway died. He was 60 years old, a talented actor who had a drug problem. So many of the comments were just vile and hateful. How can anybody hide behind a computer and be so filled with hate that they can villify a man who died? He was human, like all of us, and he had problems but that didn't mean you should spew such bile.
The thing that separates us from animals, supposedly, is our reasoning ability. Yet I've seen more love, compassion, and empathy from animals than I have from humans in the last few years. We'll send hundreds of thousands of dollars to Haiti after an earthquake and yet we'll turn away a couple of gay men when their home is destroyed by a tornado. We'll clamor for assistance for the Middle East, yet we'll turn our backs on families here who have just lost everything in the floods.
My bottom line: Before you post hate-filled posts, before you drive past someone who has fallen, remember that someday, the one needing help may be you. I hope you find more than impatience and hate at that time.
I couldn't believe how everyone was just zooming past this man, like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't fallen and might've needed help. And the idiot behind us who honked their horn, like maybe if they sat there too long, they might have to see that he'd fallen down. I was angry and frustrated at the same time. All these people who drove past this man, just drove past him like he didn't exist. How can anyone see someone fall and not even stop to see if they're ok?
And yesterday in the news, Jeff Conaway died. He was 60 years old, a talented actor who had a drug problem. So many of the comments were just vile and hateful. How can anybody hide behind a computer and be so filled with hate that they can villify a man who died? He was human, like all of us, and he had problems but that didn't mean you should spew such bile.
The thing that separates us from animals, supposedly, is our reasoning ability. Yet I've seen more love, compassion, and empathy from animals than I have from humans in the last few years. We'll send hundreds of thousands of dollars to Haiti after an earthquake and yet we'll turn away a couple of gay men when their home is destroyed by a tornado. We'll clamor for assistance for the Middle East, yet we'll turn our backs on families here who have just lost everything in the floods.
My bottom line: Before you post hate-filled posts, before you drive past someone who has fallen, remember that someday, the one needing help may be you. I hope you find more than impatience and hate at that time.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Cabs and concussions
Sometimes, life decides to laugh and make you ache. Wednesday was that kinda day for me.
I was going to have lunch with D and a friend of his at a Sweet Tomatoes restaurant just up the road from where I'm staying. To get there, I decided to take a cab. Too warm outside for me to walk and I've been feeling just a bit low when it comes to breathing lately. So, I called a cab.
She finally got there and I was surprised to see a female driver. She had this really great hair color and I commented on it. Everything seemed to be ok but she wasn't sure of where the place was. So I told her that according to the map, it was only 1/2 a mile up the road. Going a bit faster than I would have gone for such a short drive, she saw the entrance just as we were passing it. She decided to try to make it and turned the wheel. That's when the fun began.
The cab was still going forward so it started to skid. I went from the passenger side of the back seat to the driver's side like I had wax on my tush. She applied the brakes, too late in my opinion, and the cab finally came to an abrupt stop, sideways, at the edge of the entrance. By this point, I came to a full stop by slamming my head against the metal that separates the front door and the back door of the cab, slamming my chest into the side of her seat, and slamming my knees into the left edge of her seat, where the hard piece is in the seatback. She started it up and pulled in, stopping in front of a side door to the restaurant. "No charge," she tells me.
I'm holding my head. You know how slamming it into anything really hurts? Well, this REALLY hurt and I was already full on into a nasty headache. I moved everything, figured I was ok, thanked her for the no-charge ride, and got out. Had an interesting meal, waited almost an hour for another cab back, and then took some Aleve for the headache once I got back to my room. All was well, I figured.
Well, not really. For the next 3 days, I had this really bad headache that nothing was touching. I felt like my balance was off, more than usual, and I was really having problems with nausea. Finally, my two rocks both told me to go to a hospital, that it sounded like a concussion. To appease them, and to make sure that the closest one didn't drag me to a hospital himself, I went.
After several hours in the ER, I came away with some interesting information. I definitely had a concussion and probably would have the headache for a bit longer. I was told to take acetaminophen for it. I'd had a head CT scan and got to see it. It showed that I definitely had some swelling in there. They wanted to keep me overnight but I said no. I learned that a concussion is a traumatic brain injury and that the swelling had probably been worse the day of the accident. Apparently, it's a lot more serious than I had ever thought.
Beyond that, my knee was swollen a bit, and my chest has a really colorful bruise on it. My weight was both a good and bad thing. It caused me to hit harder than someone smaller might have hit but it also cushioned me enough that I didn't break a rib. My blood was checked, as was my urine. I found out that I'm back to my normal readings. In other words, I'm anemic, and several items are reading lower than normal numbers. I also have a good infection going on, thanks to my white cell count being much higher than normal. I was dehydrated so they filled me up with saline. And last but not least, they're pretty sure I'm still not a diabetic.
So what's the bottom line here? A few things. If you get into a crash and you hit your head, go get yourself checked out because a concussion is no laughing matter. If you feel thirsty and you're in Arizona, it's a really good idea to make sure you drink plenty of water. And last of all, listen to your friends when they tell you to do something. Someday, it just may save your life.
I was going to have lunch with D and a friend of his at a Sweet Tomatoes restaurant just up the road from where I'm staying. To get there, I decided to take a cab. Too warm outside for me to walk and I've been feeling just a bit low when it comes to breathing lately. So, I called a cab.
She finally got there and I was surprised to see a female driver. She had this really great hair color and I commented on it. Everything seemed to be ok but she wasn't sure of where the place was. So I told her that according to the map, it was only 1/2 a mile up the road. Going a bit faster than I would have gone for such a short drive, she saw the entrance just as we were passing it. She decided to try to make it and turned the wheel. That's when the fun began.
The cab was still going forward so it started to skid. I went from the passenger side of the back seat to the driver's side like I had wax on my tush. She applied the brakes, too late in my opinion, and the cab finally came to an abrupt stop, sideways, at the edge of the entrance. By this point, I came to a full stop by slamming my head against the metal that separates the front door and the back door of the cab, slamming my chest into the side of her seat, and slamming my knees into the left edge of her seat, where the hard piece is in the seatback. She started it up and pulled in, stopping in front of a side door to the restaurant. "No charge," she tells me.
I'm holding my head. You know how slamming it into anything really hurts? Well, this REALLY hurt and I was already full on into a nasty headache. I moved everything, figured I was ok, thanked her for the no-charge ride, and got out. Had an interesting meal, waited almost an hour for another cab back, and then took some Aleve for the headache once I got back to my room. All was well, I figured.
Well, not really. For the next 3 days, I had this really bad headache that nothing was touching. I felt like my balance was off, more than usual, and I was really having problems with nausea. Finally, my two rocks both told me to go to a hospital, that it sounded like a concussion. To appease them, and to make sure that the closest one didn't drag me to a hospital himself, I went.
After several hours in the ER, I came away with some interesting information. I definitely had a concussion and probably would have the headache for a bit longer. I was told to take acetaminophen for it. I'd had a head CT scan and got to see it. It showed that I definitely had some swelling in there. They wanted to keep me overnight but I said no. I learned that a concussion is a traumatic brain injury and that the swelling had probably been worse the day of the accident. Apparently, it's a lot more serious than I had ever thought.
Beyond that, my knee was swollen a bit, and my chest has a really colorful bruise on it. My weight was both a good and bad thing. It caused me to hit harder than someone smaller might have hit but it also cushioned me enough that I didn't break a rib. My blood was checked, as was my urine. I found out that I'm back to my normal readings. In other words, I'm anemic, and several items are reading lower than normal numbers. I also have a good infection going on, thanks to my white cell count being much higher than normal. I was dehydrated so they filled me up with saline. And last but not least, they're pretty sure I'm still not a diabetic.
So what's the bottom line here? A few things. If you get into a crash and you hit your head, go get yourself checked out because a concussion is no laughing matter. If you feel thirsty and you're in Arizona, it's a really good idea to make sure you drink plenty of water. And last of all, listen to your friends when they tell you to do something. Someday, it just may save your life.
Monday, February 7, 2011
The end, for now, of a friendship?
Your arms weren't around him, his were around you. How does that feel to you? Do you enjoy your role or does it chafe a bit? It's not one I would ever have thought was yours but then, I guess I don't really know you at all. The man I know wouldn't have said one thing and done another.
How easily does it come to you, to lie to one person about second chances but to grant another one with no real thought at all? So not the man I thought. Maybe I gave you more than you actually had inside but I don't think so. I think the wanting to have someone is stronger than the hurt you suffered at their hands. You're better than that.
Please, don't call anymore. I can't do the superficial friendship with you, not with how much I feel for you. It just hurts too much, my friend.
How easily does it come to you, to lie to one person about second chances but to grant another one with no real thought at all? So not the man I thought. Maybe I gave you more than you actually had inside but I don't think so. I think the wanting to have someone is stronger than the hurt you suffered at their hands. You're better than that.
Please, don't call anymore. I can't do the superficial friendship with you, not with how much I feel for you. It just hurts too much, my friend.
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